Sales analysts working on behalf of the Monks noted a steady decline in sales over the first 8 years. No explanation could be given, particularly as there had been no change in personnel and no real variation in their songs. Even a misjudged attempt to give away songs free with Estlin’s Organic Porridge Oats failed to increase public interest and that winter a delegation of three Monks set off on foot to their record company in London.
Sadly they never arrived. What happened has never been made clear but some say they simply returned to their native country. Others speculate that they succumbed to the weather [the worst snow for 60 years was recorded after they set off] and ‘discovered Nirvana’ huddled together in a ditch just off the A4 near Reading.
Keen to honour the memory of their lost colleagues, the remaining Monks swiftly recruited replacement members (locating available chanters in the West Country in Winter was a major feat in itself) and recorded a cd, entitled “Goodbye, Gurtu Monks, from the Gurtu Monks”. Sales and illegal download volumes were extraordinary and consultants decided that this was due to a national outpouring of grief and, more importantly, a subtly different tone brought about by the replacement of the 3 Monks.
Never one to ignore advice, particularly when he has paid for it, manager Ben Temple convinced the Monks to adopt a policy of frequent change in their vocal palette. Hence the annual festival of ‘The Next True Tone”, in which three Monks are invited to perform a new sound to be voted on by the others. By chance, the festival is currently underway and the sounds to be presented are as follows :-

“Ha Pee Ur” - A very random, almost slurred sound that is most easily created on Friday nights after many hours of what is tactfully referred to as ‘devotion’.

“Hei Mlich” – A staccato sound, reminiscent of somebody choking on a cherry pip

“Bhad Whetur” A classic product of the “Bhen Geo” dialect and sounding most like a child desparately needing the toilet.

The result will be posted here shortly.